Let me know what makes men decide to put in work. Is it the female? Is it him? And/or do the stars gotta line up in a special alignment…
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Ms. Anomalous
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What Makes a Man WANT to Put in Work?
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Ms. Anomalous
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Thus, talking is much more important than stunting/flossing/swagging/fronting, i.e. ACTING like you’re all that and you got it like that. Point blank, being a fake n phoney. If I aint got it I say “Yo baby you got this right!” 9 x out of 10 she’s already digging in her bag, that I brought her.
Damn I’m glad I don’t have the problems other nigus do. LOL
Actions always speak louder than words. And the more a man invests in anything, the more he’ll be less likely to treat it like shit or leave it at the drop of a whim. Any man can say baby I’m feeling you and I think your worth investing energy into. But aint no man gon’ really put in the work if he don’t think she’s worth it. We women just gotta understand that it’s more than just about him spending money, we gotta look at everything. Yall men just need to know that $$ is something that we are going to look at as well though.
Finally, this whole time I have not been talking about how women are supposed to act when in the relationship; I’ve been talking about the whole dating/courting process.
All of this stuff is really unimportant. If a man and a women cannot effectively communicate with one another….all that “putting in work” is useless, and a waste of each others time. So, communication is key here. Especially in an information era nah mean. How about if the couple don’t spend a dime, but just sit down and talk? (LOL) that’s some funny s*** right, just the thought of it. They will have no need to put in work anymore cause it would be over. (MOST people base/design their courtship, relationship, marriage and divorce on bulls**t.) lol. 9 out of 10 would not even know how to start the conversation off, without mentioning money. SMH
I believe that communication is the key. But I also believe that were are indeed communicating when “putting in work.” Your actions are saying a lot. It’s saying that you believe that this person is a worthy investment of money and time which are two very precious things in our society…
I hardly ever bring up money. I haven’t asked any of the guys who I’ve dated how much they make, etc. And when we go somewhere and they need to pay for things I look away; I don’t wanna see how much things cost and I don’t wanna see what they have in their wallet.
From what I heard, women expect too much from a man. Men see ralationships get nuked everyday, so why should he “put in work” when it “aint gone work” nah mean. I do think that if women, who are equals, put in as much work, things might be better for them both. Hell, she might even restore that broken down mans’ self asteem. That being, if he’s confident in himself, and can help himself, he’s in a better position to help her. Nah mean.
“put in work” when it “ain’t gon’ work” lol.. I feel u..
I’m not sure if yall men really want women to put in work though.. or not in the traditional sense of it. Yall want to chase. In my opinion, when I show that I’m interested in you, when I’m happy when you call/text, when I’m showing how appreciative of things that you do, when I decided to invite you over, when I decided to cook for you, etc is me putting in work. But my putting in work is reactionary to you putting in the effort first.
It consisted of giving a man a break once in a while, helping him out nah mean. Finding work and handling her own, taking some of the burden off of her man. Taking him out to dinner when he was short. Stuff like that-“I got you baby.” Things were not as one-sided as they are today.
Women have had equal rights for over a hundred years or so now, and SOME still use womens’ liberation as a gotdamn crutch. SMH. I teach them though! “The ATM machine is around the corner baby, your man is right here-you better recognize.” lol
Hahaha at the ATM comment..
I feel you. And I believe that a woman should do that IN the relationship. I’m talking about the whole courting stage though. I most certainly believe in holding down your man, etc, but the key words being YOUR MAN. Back in the day, so it seems, men used to do stuff when he was trying to make the girl HIS WOMAN or at least his “piece.” Now, it seems like, yall don’t want to do nothing to show that you’re interested except come over to the crib and just chill your way into a relationship or into some sex. Yall don’t want to do nothing– put in work– to get anything.
What ever happened to ‘the good ‘ol days’ young lady when they both put in work?
What did that consist of? I came of age in the 90s and 00s and I don’t remember women really putting in work. It seemed like more men put in work “back in my day” but now, ain’t nobody doing nothing.