Getting Grown 2010

In less than 2 weeks, I’ll be 22 years old. I know I’m still young, but sometimes I feel hella old. I think back to when I was younger, how I always wanted to be older. But now; man, now, kinda wishing time would just slow up. You never understand what grown really is until it becomes your unavoidable reality.

 

I was reminiscing with some of my childhood friends a couple of days ago. And the thing that amazes me is how grown we thought we was back in the day; all the grown ass situations that we subjected ourselves to way before we were mentally and emotionally ready to handle those things. Sex. Drugs. Clubbing. Babies. Abuse. Depression. Experiencing many, if not all, of these things before the age of 18. Granted, we can’t go back and undo all that was done; granted, we are beginning to love the young women who were all becoming; one thing we all agree on is that we wish we wasn’t in such a rush to grow up back then. Because now, man, now, sometimes I feel like I’ve experienced a lifetime in 22 years.

 

Although knowing that time and life won’t slow up can sometimes be overwhelming, I’m so thankful that life continues (thank you mama for that concept). I’m glad that those dark times, those difficult experiences, the hopeless nights, the distraught days, are in the past and tomorrow presents to me an opportunity to use the past to make better decisions in the new day.

 

So as I approach 22, I’m thanking the Lord for all my hard learned lessons and for His divine grace and protection even when I decided to stray and do things my way (which is way too often). And as I live each day, I’m going to try to enjoy that moment of my life instead of trying to sprint to the next stage.

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