On my Emo Shit…

Hey Young World,

Although I don’t really consider my blog to be a “personal” blog (I don’t use it as a diary), I feel like doing such tonight. Lately I been going through it. Like, just really going through it emotionally and spiritually. Life is spinning so fast; I feel like I’m running; running from the past and from the future. So I guess in actuality I’m standing still; running in place. Some days my standing still takes the form of being super productive; I’ll get a lot of reading done; I’ll plan stuff for my non-profit; I’ll clean; I’ll make video posts. But I won’t actually deal with those issues that I know are preventing me from moving forward towards who I want and need to be; I’m not actually working on those past issues that are impacting my today and shaping my tomorrow. (SN: Pandora just turned to one of my favorite songs and most fitting songs for the mood I’m in right now, “Ye Yo (live)”  Erykah Badu). Other days my standing still takes the form of not being productive at all; I should be looking for a job for when I graduate; I should be on my super networking grind; I should be writing papers for my honor’s thesis; I should be a little more organized with my non-profit. Yet I’m not because I’m afraid of rejection; afraid of failing; afraid of the future unknown.

I know much of the insecurities that I have about the future have a lot to do with those issues of the past that I’m not dealing with. It’s crazy how things that seem to be unrelated have a profound impact on each other. (SN: Erykah Badu’s “Window Seat” just came on and this is definitely the soundtrack of my life right now; Damn, this song is really speaking to my experience right now). I guess this is why we gotta work on the complete person and not just a portion of us. And the thing is, I felt like I had gotten pass those past issues of lack of self-love, of not knowing self-worth, and all the issues that those deficiencies create. But I guess it’s not something to get pass; rather, it’s something that I’ll have to continuously work on.

So I guess it’s time to start working on me rather than running in place and standing still. I know I have the potential to really just take on the world in a major way; I know that I was blessed with a light that so many recognize; but it’s time for me start recognizing the light for myself. I know I’m not the only struggling with something from the past that’s preventing me from actualizing my potential and having a fulfilling future. And if you’re going through the same thing, I encourage you to take on the challenge with me.

V

Tryna get it together

Advertisements

2 Comments

  1. i feel you! i felt that same way early today, they always wanna CHANGE the subject from giving us our forty acres and a mule. smh But, look at all of the ways that you could possibly change it. (the subject) good luck V

    • i feel you V because its the same spiritual force telling me, that, there will always be wild fires in California, Great Plains twisters, tearing thier houses into tooth picks, and Jersey shore hurricanes….

      until they give us back our land.

      i dont see anything else. i believe


Comments RSS

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 13 other followers